Nemisis

A coward dies a 1000 deaths and is soon forgotten.
A warrior never dies and lives through his legend.
Tzu Sun,The art of war,

Discretion is the better part of valor,Unknown Knight Templar,The crusade's Jerusalem.

Nemisis is about my awakening and using my dormant gift to fight the worst kind of enemy. Fear hidden away but never forgotten. I am enthralled by the arthur mythology and have woven its mystique in good triumphing over evil

It is the first of 4 songs that will weave a tapestry of my life and explain my ascendance more eloquently than I.



My father was his own worst enemy and mine.

In my dreams I sought to see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day
It would be a great journey of distance.
Courage would be my map of only one chance.
But if i didnt be brave and go

.
I gamble to never find my real.
and unlock the my maiden of love and feel
And restore my soul.
Vanquish the serpent who still had a hold


It would be a journey of great distance.
Some never take it.Never see their chance.


In my dreams I sought to see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day


I always knew to to win.
I have to make the final journey within.
In my dreams I always trembled to begin.




In my dreams I sought to see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day
It would be a great journey of distance.
Courage would be my map of only one chance..
But if i didnt be brave and go.

How could I ever find my soul key.
And unlock the the magic to be whole.
I would finally know



My dreams I sought Into see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day
It would be a great journey of distance.
Courage would be my map of only one chance.




In a unknown fearful way.
I made my way back to the serpents umarked grave.
This way I thought I would never come.
Sealed the chambers of the past.
Never looked back and the years and time did run.



In my dreams I sought to see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day
It would be a great journey of distance.
Courage would be my map of only one chance.


So as the light faded from the day.
I knew finally it was the only way.
I unsheathed my sword of verse.
Rendered away the chains of a past long buried away.



In my dreams I sought to see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day
It would be a great journey of distance.
Courage would be my map of only one chance.


Trembling I descended into the abyss.
I would finally come to know.
If I could finally defeat the serpent of rage.
And find the key of my soul.


I came upon a long cold dark hall.
A souls gallerys of paintings of all my fall's
Only glowing was sword of verse bright.


I saw chambers of stories I could never tell.
Demons who never let me be well.
Always locked by the serpent into hell.


My soul was always bleeding,
Drained of a losing fight.
I seek the soul key to unlock my life

My goddess music.
My muse.

My guiding light.
Taught me truth was my map to the bright.


So as the light faded from the day.
I knew finally it was the only way.
I unsheathed my sword of verse.
Rendered away the chains of a past long buried away.


In my dreams I sought to see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day.


I seek to make my life's book real.
Not a work of ficton of non real


How could I ever find my soul key.
And unlock the the magic to be whole.
I would finally know


So at the end of the hall.
I gazed into a jade crystal ball
it had nothing at all.


The dragons of addiction slowly circled above me.
Followed by minions of self lies and hypricosy.



I knew to break their spell over me.
I must confront the serpent who had my soul key.
How could I ever know.
Unless I used my sword of verse and saved my soul.



My soul was always bleeding,
Drained of a losing fight.
I seek the soul key to find the real me.

My goddess music.
My muse.
My guiding light.
Taught me truth was my map to the bright.


So finally I came to the serpents door.
Would I return or be no more.



So as the light faded from the day.
I knew finally it was the only way.
I unsheathed my sword of verse.
Rendered away the chains of a past long buried away.


I saw a great mirror on the wall.
Out to the serpent I did call.
The glow beckoned to me.
Here is what you seek.
Dont look in or never be free.


The dragons of addiction tried to overtake.
My armor of bright didnt break
brought fear into my soul.
With a trembling hand I wiped away dust of deceit and decay.


I opened my eyes and to my surprise.
I saw no serpent of fear and waste and lies
I saw my soul key I looked into my own eyes.


The verses came to me. My armor was music,My sword melody.

It only has a spell if you feed the serpent hate pain and lonely.
All along you had the key to unfree the maiden of love verse and harmony



My soul was always bleeding,
Drained of a losing fight.
I found the soul key to find the real me.

My goddess music.
My muse.
My guiding light.
Taught me truth was my home to the bright.


I gambled to find my real.
and unlocked the maiden of love and feel
And she made me whole.
Vanquished the serpent and music restored my soul.



So as the dark faded into the day.
I knew finally it was the only way.
I resheathed my sword of verse.
After I Rendered away the chains of a past long buried away.




My dreams I sought Into see beyond the mist and gray,
Buried beyond the hand of man.Hidden from light of day
It would be a great journey of distance.
Courage would be my map of only one chance.

Spin Time Back

I was alone under the memories of moon glow.
Thinking of people and moments from long ago.

I thought of how i used to not think i would ever change.
And i would ever fear time and its cruel game.

I want to spin time back but i cant i know.
I know that people come and go away.

And i thought i would never feel the strain.

I thought of how i used to not think i would ever change.
And i would ever fear time and its cruel game.

I was alone under the memories of moon glow.
Thinking of people and moments from long ago.

I thought of how i used to not think i would ever change.
And i would ever fear time and its cruel game.

I want to spin time back but i cant i know.
I know that people come and go away.

I want to spin time back but i cant i know.
I am caught in rain drops of unknowingly causing pain.

And to all of past people who never will see my hearts change.
And i wish my love for them i could spin time back and show.

I was alone under the memories of moon glow.
Thinking of people and moments from long ago.

I thought of how i used to not think i would ever change.
And i would ever fear time and its cruel game.

I want to spin time back but i cant i know.
I know that people come and go away.

And i thought i would never feel the strain.

I want to spin time back but i cant i know.
I am caught in rain drops of unknowingly causing pain.

And to all of past people who never will see my hearts change.
And i wish my love for them i could spin time back and show.

I was alone under the memories of moon glow.
Thinking of people and moments from long ago.

Highway 35

Highway 35 is the 4th chronological song in my evolution. is about me living with my grandparents before their death and after the deaths at different times of my baby sister and parents and the seeds and core values of my unknown gift were born.

A lot of people always tell me aren't you a country boy from San Marcos.
Where's a country song ?

So sat and thought and played some notes on the guitar and here it is.

In my life, So far I have Gone
But I know there's no return to no family and home.


And as the years and miles go by
But I can always in my minds eye.
For a minute Take the years back and go down highway 35

I remember what grandpa taught me about love country and family.
Grandma playing piano and teaching me song and harmony
She gave me the gift and opened the way back for me.

In that old southern white painted church JESUS set my soul free.
They went to heaven and left.
But in my heart their always with me

I wish I had known how time would fly.
I would have told them more I loved them so.
The world was mine and I had to go.

And it makes me cry
There's no one to go back to down highway 35


In my life, So far I have Gone
But I know there's no return to no family and home.

I remember what grandpa taught me about love country and family.
Grandma playing piano and teaching me song and harmony.
She gave me the gift and opened the way back for me.

In that old southern white painted church JESUS set my soul free
They went to heaven and left
But in my heart their always with me


In my life, So far I have Gone
But I know there's no return to no family and home


I wish I had known how time would fly.
I would have told them more how I loved them so
.
The world was mine and I had to go.
And it makes me cry
There's no one to go back to down highway 35


And as the miles and the years go by.
And in my minds eye.
For a minute Take the years back and go down highway 35


So for I have gone.
But I know there's no return to no family and no home.

I never thought I could write something so touching that it would make me cry,
Thank you JESUS for never giving up on me and giving me this gift.

Tommy

Father Song

Song 1 nemesis was about how music helped me deal with fear and loss and understand,It was forged in the heat of my youth and finished on the anvil of self realization. The serpent was my father.

Song 3 Father song is a understanding that my father had
PSTD and was bi-polar and a drug and alcohol user.
And was at war with himself and stygmitized in an ignorant
country.

To truly love and forgive,We must understand why we are doing it




In this later days of wisdom in my lfe.
I see you in a different light

Always on the road somewhere to drive.
Demons from vietnam always in your mind.

Maybe I thought you were supposed to always hold me and keep away the cold.

You fought for the land of the free,I thouht you should be a hero to me


But always you seemed to die a little every day inside and grow old

I wish as a man i could have known you and told you I am always here.


I know what you go through and I know lonely and fear.
I know how painful is the scarring of the soul
.

I lost my mother and sister but you lost a child of you two and the love of your life.

So I hope that you can see found my love for you deep inside.


One day Ill be free from froms earths chains of mortality.
Ill be a stratosphere bolt of pure energy and i'll find you in eternity


I cry for for you and the loss of your soul and love and feelings never to unfold.
I would have been your hero and kept you from the cold of your minds night.

I think of you in the final walk to unknown dark or the joy of heaven bright

Sometimes we cant care at all or lets others past our wall
And Im sorry i didnt know to love you with all my might

I guess we could not get over the cruel hand of fate and ironic night

Father I wish i could have told you but i never could say i don't miss you.

But don't mistake me for a man who never cared at all.

I wish i would have had you longer in my life
The loneliness and pain. we always seem to hide.

I guess always you were gone to keep away and hold your pain inside.


Always on the road somewhere to drive
Demons from vietnam always in your mind.

The day came and I realized to see you through truths eyes.
Now I see a hero who sacrificed his soul and defended wrong over right.


In this my later days of wisdom, I see you in a different light


I cried for what could have been and what wasn't and I released him to the universe.

Tommy

Makin my way to the real

Song 2 is rebirth and my dawning of how to heal myself.




In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Almost darkened my light,


Many painted my life's canvas dark to gray,
They said my path was an early grave.

So many things .I cant say. Oh i can feel

Now im makin my way to the real,



In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Almost darkened my light,


Sometimes I say we embrace the wrong way to hide our fright,
we all hope to find our way home and see the bright


Now im makin way to the real,
Many painted my lifes canvas dark to gray,


In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Now I undo wrong and seek the bright,


Now im makin my way to the real,


So many things I cant say, Oh I can feel


In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave
,
Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Now I undo wrong and seek the bright,


Now I write the chapters of my life
Now I choose wrong over right,
My words bring the hope of days. and drive out despair of night

Now Im makin my way to the real,


I unpainted my life's canvas colors from dark to light,
Music is my goddess along the way from I reclaimed my life,
We all want find our way home and see the bright,

So many things I cant say, Oh I can feel,
Now im makin my way back to the real,


I thank GOD every day,
That he brought me to this place,
Tears of joy run down my soul face.
Music my map of destiny guide me on the way.


In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Now I undo wrong and seek the bright,


Now to all trying to find the way,
Dont let others paint your soul canvas dark to gray,

Dont pain and lonely define your life,
Undo wrong and seek what's right,
You'll find your way home to the bright,

In my youth I sought the grave and my soul was ill.
But my Goddess music,My light all the way,
And made my soul start to heal,


So many things I cant say, Oh I can feel,
Now im makin my way back to the real,

Terry Palmer Eulogy

Terry Palmer was one of those diamonds of humanity so precious and rare in this world
Born into an afluent family They ostracized him because he was gay
He lived the hedonostic lifestyle in florida Drugs sex and all vices
His story is an inspiration to me personally

GODS hands touched him
I was drawn back to the mission and I saw him 3 weeks before his death in typical Terry fashion he said he was being sick so someone else didnt have to be.

I embraced him and hugged him on that cold windy day in the sqaure there We told each other we loved one another
I looked into his sapphire blue eyes and told him ill see you soon As i walked away he was befreinding a new inductee into the mission

I met terry at the mission when i lost my job freinds home and health It was the best thing to ever happen to me
He was the first one to approach me as i nervously waited to see if i could get in

He asked me if i knew the lord I barely anwsered him GODS power hadnt touched me yet
He told me of coming to mission to die of HIV because he had nowhere to go

On his death bed he had no more time to live thats what the doctors said years ago and he proved them wrong living and loving in short years more purely than most do in a lfe time

He said he was dying and all he could here was the respirator and the nurses alarm going off
In his vision he heard a clear voice telling him it wasnt him time to die GOD touched Him

He awoke and within a month his white cells and blood were clean
He was HIV free

On that day Terry Palmer started telling his story and winning souls for the kingdom
He earned his wings and sits with JESUS as we speak today

I and Edaurdo and Terry all started college together
He carried my boooks when I had 2 knee surgerys and had to use cruthces for college

He became a christain counselor and minister
We all got our degrees the first and only 3 at mission still to this day to do it

He stayed at mission and changed his life and impacted countless others
He healed his family and they saw him and they came to truly know the lord

He was my freind and I cant wait to go to heaven and see him
I cry not for sorrow but the beauty of a life lived to from destruction to ressurection
I give you my gift terry only that i show people i love and trust for you.

I call this eternity


Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
.My love for you will never fade.

Embace eternity.
Mortal chains broken you are free.

I wont be sad you are gone.
My love will always live on.

Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
My love for you will never fade.

I know where your at at all is well.
You gave all your love and kept none for yourself.

Now you are free to embrace eternity.
Love you showed is forever bright.

Embraced eternity and flew to the light.

Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
Love and hope of GODS grace.

I long to that day to again see your face.
Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
You live in my heart never far away.

I love you Terry.
Tommy

Hurricane

I am a force of nature.I learned to bend and not to break.
As gentle as a kiss from a mother to her sleeping babys face.

Saved from the abyss and I almost missed my chance to.
Give my thanks to GOD above for the chance to say.
To all my freinds, I oh so love you.

Burned up in the fires of my mispent youth.
Cooled off in the winds of time and the light of truth

I whirled in a destruction of rage and pain.
I couldnt stop the hurricane.

Then mercy and forgiveness came to me.
My music and my heart set me free.

It was like a soft lovers heat in a summer rain.

Music and love were my angels that saved me from the hurricane

I am a force of nature,learned to bend and not to break.
As gentle as a mothers kiss to her sleeping babys face

I found my destiny and in my life I found my place.

Saved from the abyss and I almost missed my chance to.
Give my thanks to GOD above for the chance to say.
To all my freinds, I oh so love you.

Burned up in the fires of my mispent youth.
Cooled off in the winds of time and the light of truth

I whirled in a destruction of rage and pain.
I couldnt stop the hurricane.

Then mercy and forgiveness came to me.
My music and heart set me free.


I am a force of nature,learned to bend and not to break.
As gentle as a mothers kiss to her sleeping babys face.