Highway 35

Highway 35 is the 4th chronological song in my evolution. is about me living with my grandparents before their death and after the deaths at different times of my baby sister and parents and the seeds and core values of my unknown gift were born.

A lot of people always tell me aren't you a country boy from San Marcos.
Where's a country song ?

So sat and thought and played some notes on the guitar and here it is.

In my life, So far I have Gone
But I know there's no return to no family and home.


And as the years and miles go by
But I can always in my minds eye.
For a minute Take the years back and go down highway 35

I remember what grandpa taught me about love country and family.
Grandma playing piano and teaching me song and harmony
She gave me the gift and opened the way back for me.

In that old southern white painted church JESUS set my soul free.
They went to heaven and left.
But in my heart their always with me

I wish I had known how time would fly.
I would have told them more I loved them so.
The world was mine and I had to go.

And it makes me cry
There's no one to go back to down highway 35


In my life, So far I have Gone
But I know there's no return to no family and home.

I remember what grandpa taught me about love country and family.
Grandma playing piano and teaching me song and harmony.
She gave me the gift and opened the way back for me.

In that old southern white painted church JESUS set my soul free
They went to heaven and left
But in my heart their always with me


In my life, So far I have Gone
But I know there's no return to no family and home


I wish I had known how time would fly.
I would have told them more how I loved them so
.
The world was mine and I had to go.
And it makes me cry
There's no one to go back to down highway 35


And as the miles and the years go by.
And in my minds eye.
For a minute Take the years back and go down highway 35


So for I have gone.
But I know there's no return to no family and no home.

I never thought I could write something so touching that it would make me cry,
Thank you JESUS for never giving up on me and giving me this gift.

Tommy

Father Song

Song 1 nemesis was about how music helped me deal with fear and loss and understand,It was forged in the heat of my youth and finished on the anvil of self realization. The serpent was my father.

Song 3 Father song is a understanding that my father had
PSTD and was bi-polar and a drug and alcohol user.
And was at war with himself and stygmitized in an ignorant
country.

To truly love and forgive,We must understand why we are doing it




In this later days of wisdom in my lfe.
I see you in a different light

Always on the road somewhere to drive.
Demons from vietnam always in your mind.

Maybe I thought you were supposed to always hold me and keep away the cold.

You fought for the land of the free,I thouht you should be a hero to me


But always you seemed to die a little every day inside and grow old

I wish as a man i could have known you and told you I am always here.


I know what you go through and I know lonely and fear.
I know how painful is the scarring of the soul
.

I lost my mother and sister but you lost a child of you two and the love of your life.

So I hope that you can see found my love for you deep inside.


One day Ill be free from froms earths chains of mortality.
Ill be a stratosphere bolt of pure energy and i'll find you in eternity


I cry for for you and the loss of your soul and love and feelings never to unfold.
I would have been your hero and kept you from the cold of your minds night.

I think of you in the final walk to unknown dark or the joy of heaven bright

Sometimes we cant care at all or lets others past our wall
And Im sorry i didnt know to love you with all my might

I guess we could not get over the cruel hand of fate and ironic night

Father I wish i could have told you but i never could say i don't miss you.

But don't mistake me for a man who never cared at all.

I wish i would have had you longer in my life
The loneliness and pain. we always seem to hide.

I guess always you were gone to keep away and hold your pain inside.


Always on the road somewhere to drive
Demons from vietnam always in your mind.

The day came and I realized to see you through truths eyes.
Now I see a hero who sacrificed his soul and defended wrong over right.


In this my later days of wisdom, I see you in a different light


I cried for what could have been and what wasn't and I released him to the universe.

Tommy

Makin my way to the real

Song 2 is rebirth and my dawning of how to heal myself.




In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Almost darkened my light,


Many painted my life's canvas dark to gray,
They said my path was an early grave.

So many things .I cant say. Oh i can feel

Now im makin my way to the real,



In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Almost darkened my light,


Sometimes I say we embrace the wrong way to hide our fright,
we all hope to find our way home and see the bright


Now im makin way to the real,
Many painted my lifes canvas dark to gray,


In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Now I undo wrong and seek the bright,


Now im makin my way to the real,


So many things I cant say, Oh I can feel


In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave
,
Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Now I undo wrong and seek the bright,


Now I write the chapters of my life
Now I choose wrong over right,
My words bring the hope of days. and drive out despair of night

Now Im makin my way to the real,


I unpainted my life's canvas colors from dark to light,
Music is my goddess along the way from I reclaimed my life,
We all want find our way home and see the bright,

So many things I cant say, Oh I can feel,
Now im makin my way back to the real,


I thank GOD every day,
That he brought me to this place,
Tears of joy run down my soul face.
Music my map of destiny guide me on the way.


In my youth they say I embraced darkness,
Embraced pain,looked for the grave,

Dragons of addiction defined my life,
Now I undo wrong and seek the bright,


Now to all trying to find the way,
Dont let others paint your soul canvas dark to gray,

Dont pain and lonely define your life,
Undo wrong and seek what's right,
You'll find your way home to the bright,

In my youth I sought the grave and my soul was ill.
But my Goddess music,My light all the way,
And made my soul start to heal,


So many things I cant say, Oh I can feel,
Now im makin my way back to the real,

Terry Palmer Eulogy

Terry Palmer was one of those diamonds of humanity so precious and rare in this world
Born into an afluent family They ostracized him because he was gay
He lived the hedonostic lifestyle in florida Drugs sex and all vices
His story is an inspiration to me personally

GODS hands touched him
I was drawn back to the mission and I saw him 3 weeks before his death in typical Terry fashion he said he was being sick so someone else didnt have to be.

I embraced him and hugged him on that cold windy day in the sqaure there We told each other we loved one another
I looked into his sapphire blue eyes and told him ill see you soon As i walked away he was befreinding a new inductee into the mission

I met terry at the mission when i lost my job freinds home and health It was the best thing to ever happen to me
He was the first one to approach me as i nervously waited to see if i could get in

He asked me if i knew the lord I barely anwsered him GODS power hadnt touched me yet
He told me of coming to mission to die of HIV because he had nowhere to go

On his death bed he had no more time to live thats what the doctors said years ago and he proved them wrong living and loving in short years more purely than most do in a lfe time

He said he was dying and all he could here was the respirator and the nurses alarm going off
In his vision he heard a clear voice telling him it wasnt him time to die GOD touched Him

He awoke and within a month his white cells and blood were clean
He was HIV free

On that day Terry Palmer started telling his story and winning souls for the kingdom
He earned his wings and sits with JESUS as we speak today

I and Edaurdo and Terry all started college together
He carried my boooks when I had 2 knee surgerys and had to use cruthces for college

He became a christain counselor and minister
We all got our degrees the first and only 3 at mission still to this day to do it

He stayed at mission and changed his life and impacted countless others
He healed his family and they saw him and they came to truly know the lord

He was my freind and I cant wait to go to heaven and see him
I cry not for sorrow but the beauty of a life lived to from destruction to ressurection
I give you my gift terry only that i show people i love and trust for you.

I call this eternity


Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
.My love for you will never fade.

Embace eternity.
Mortal chains broken you are free.

I wont be sad you are gone.
My love will always live on.

Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
My love for you will never fade.

I know where your at at all is well.
You gave all your love and kept none for yourself.

Now you are free to embrace eternity.
Love you showed is forever bright.

Embraced eternity and flew to the light.

Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
Love and hope of GODS grace.

I long to that day to again see your face.
Summer is gone cold skys of gray.
You live in my heart never far away.

I love you Terry.
Tommy

Hurricane

I am a force of nature.I learned to bend and not to break.
As gentle as a kiss from a mother to her sleeping babys face.

Saved from the abyss and I almost missed my chance to.
Give my thanks to GOD above for the chance to say.
To all my freinds, I oh so love you.

Burned up in the fires of my mispent youth.
Cooled off in the winds of time and the light of truth

I whirled in a destruction of rage and pain.
I couldnt stop the hurricane.

Then mercy and forgiveness came to me.
My music and my heart set me free.

It was like a soft lovers heat in a summer rain.

Music and love were my angels that saved me from the hurricane

I am a force of nature,learned to bend and not to break.
As gentle as a mothers kiss to her sleeping babys face

I found my destiny and in my life I found my place.

Saved from the abyss and I almost missed my chance to.
Give my thanks to GOD above for the chance to say.
To all my freinds, I oh so love you.

Burned up in the fires of my mispent youth.
Cooled off in the winds of time and the light of truth

I whirled in a destruction of rage and pain.
I couldnt stop the hurricane.

Then mercy and forgiveness came to me.
My music and heart set me free.


I am a force of nature,learned to bend and not to break.
As gentle as a mothers kiss to her sleeping babys face.

Now I know why.

I was blind but now I see my soul light.
I used to wonder why I would try.
To find the dark instead of the bright.
No longer adrift upon a sea battling the tides.

Finally peace of mind is mine.
Now I know why.
Now I seek peace.
The angry warrior is left far behind.

My words are my painting upon the colored canvas of my life


I was blind but now I see my soul light.
I used to wonder why I would try.
To find the dark instead of the bright.
No longer adrift upon a sea battling the tides

No longer a prisoner of sad and dark ruling my life.
I wish I could give all of the earth the secret that always was inside.
No one but yourself can take the path and find whats hidden revealed in the wisdom of time


Finally peace of mind is mine.
Now I know why.
Now I seek peace.
The angry warrior is left far behind.

My words are my painting upon the colored canvas of my life.


So if your tired and sad and your light is weak.
Ill give you the secret and its yours to keep.
The simple beauty of it makes me weep.
The treasures of this world ruin many a lifetime.
Its the beauty of love and honesty can unlock your soul to shine


No longer a prisoner of sad and dark ruling my life.
I wish I could give all of the earth the secret that always was inside.
No one but yourself can take the path and find whats hidden revealed in the wisdom of time


I was blind but now I see my soul light.
I used to wonder why I would try.
To find the dark instead of the bright.
No longer adrift upon a sea battling the tides.


My words are my painting upon the colored canvas of my life.

Prophecy of truth

In your life you thought the fear would never come.
Many have left and you feel your the only one
.

Lifes clock has you under the gun
Souls mirror truth burns you bright as the sun.


Overwhelmed you want to hide.
Knowledege of mortality eating you up inside

Is there a life on the other side of the coin ?
When you realize for all your arrogance, Time you cannot own.




In your life you thought the fear would never come.
Many have left and you feel your the only one.


You chose the world and materailism as your bride.
But youll leave empty as the pendulum swings you closer to the other side


Lifes clock has you under the gun
Souls mirror truth burns you bright as the sun.


Is there a life on the other side of the coin ?
When you realize for all your arrogance, Time you cannot own.


Lifes clock has you under the gun
Souls mirror truth burns you bright as the sun.

.

In your life you thought the fear would never come.
Many have left and you feel your the only one

HEAVENS GOLDEN STREETS

This is for my freind,Chris Saul.
Who died at his own hand of fear and depression
and left behind hiis childhood sweetheart and baby girl and freinds who loved him dearly.

I wrote this on a morning of rainy and skys of gray.
I wish I could have told you before you went away.

One day again well meet and Ill see you again on heavens golden streets.

We were just kids in a garage band
We talked of fame and riches with our music.
We would marry supermodels and buy castles and beaches in far away lands
and be young forver and that was our plan.

You cant always win and life hands you defeats.

But I pray. Ill see you on heavens golden streets.

We alaways think to live and never a thought to die.
I think of you and laugh then start to cry

I cant undestand and ill never know why.
You chose not to live and accepted to die

You cant always win and life hands you defeats

But I pray ill see you on heavens golden streets

So in the big rock band in heaven on high
Crank up the amp let the music fly.

In my heart our memories ill always keep.

Till i see you again on heavens golden streets

KNOWING

I know as a man How my time spans and so much undone.
I come into life alone and leave soon forgotten and remembered by no one.


I spent my youth in sin, Was blind and saw again healed from within by GODS son.
I'm not sad Though because Now I know that love and joy healed my soul.


I know that youth is a beautiful rose and that time passes if you don't know.

Your face is a pleasure to see and ill always carry your light with me.



I know as a man How my time spans and so much undone.
I come into life alone and will leave soon forgotten and remembered by no one.

I know every pretty thing the joy it brings to some one.
But all of this earth fades way and soon it will be me to leave this place.


I spent my youth in sin, Was blind and saw again healed from within by GODS son.

Im not sad Though because Now I know that love and joy healed my soul.


I know that youth is a beautiful rose and that time passes if you don't know.


Your face is a pleasure to see and ill always carry your light with me.


The bittersweet irony is that to me that to truly love is to truly grieve for my friends when their race is done




I know every pretty thing the joy it brings to some one.
But all of this earth fades way and soon it will be me to leave this place.



I know as a man How my time spans and so much undone.
I come into life alone and will leave soon forgotten and remembered by no one.